Barely Regal
April 29th, 2011
No comments
Archive
Archive for April, 2011
More Cave Johnson.
April 27th, 2011
No comments
All right, I’ve been thinking. When life gives you lemons? Don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! ‘I don’t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?’
Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s going to burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
-Cave Johnson
More video game dialogue needs to be like this
April 24th, 2011
No comments
All these science spheres are made of asbestos by the way. Keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough, or your heart stopping. Because that’s not part of the test. That’s asbestos.
Good news is the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show immediate latency of 44.6 years. So if you’re 30 or older, you’re laughing – Worst case scenario you miss out on a few rounds of canasta. Plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face.
-Cave Johnson
